Gaijin

Just finished reading a short erotica story by Remittance Girl (@remittancegirl) of Red Phone Box fascination.

Such a very short story, so very much to say about it. 

Let's start with sex. I've never read much erotica before. Literary snobbishness? Ah, perhaps. There's a plethora of it self-published and free online, and most stuff that's self-published and free online makes for dubious reading at best.

This wasn't free, I did actually buy it. I bought it because I'd read a short snippet (non erotica) by the writer and found myself hooked. RG has an ability to take short-term characters (in RPB a woman smoking a cigarette in a café) and make them wholly rememberable. Vivid, even without saying a word. That's a talent. Many writers write much longer books and their characters start to fade soon after the last page. 

I'm not sure what it is. Don't think you can teach that. It's something some writers just have. 

I was recently doing a round of interviews for my day job, picking through people's CVs. About twenty CVs, and one leapt out at me. The applicant was describing a short trip he'd taken to Morocco. It read less like a CV and more like a beautifully written piece of literary fiction. I mentioned it to my colleague and he replied "I know!" If someone hasn't already told this guy he's an author, they really ought to. I hope to get that chance myself if I meet him later this year.

It's the X-factor of writing. Sometimes people just have something, a way of writing, that sings to you. This is what I found with RG's short story in RPB, which spurred me on to explore further, following her into a genre I wouldn't say I could talk about with confidence.

Back to sex. Gaijin is a rape fantasy (won't go into the morals of that, check the manifesto). Firstly, I was highly impressed by the inventiveness and diversity of sex acts. 

You might be sitting there thinking 'have you never watched PornoTube?' But, let me tell you, as someone who has written steamy scenes in most of her books - it isn't easy. Or, rather, it ain't easy not bein' cheesy. Each year there's an award dished out for the worst sex scenes in a book (the Bad Sex Award). That's just for one scene in a book. Imagine - with erotica - having to write continuously satisfying scenes, one after the other... That's an art, it truly is.

The other interesting tie-in was that RG was reading Rosy Hours at the same time, unbeknown to me. There's a nice feeling about impressing someone you're impressed by:

I notice we both have an eye for the erotic in the ugly.

Made me blush more than her prose. 

Non-sex related, this book took me by surprise. One moment people are boning, the next there's a deeply poignant observation on the nature of existence, or a darkly humorous line that raises a chuckle in the midst of something so wrong yet enthralling. I wasn't expecting to find an intellectual connection, yet, in retrospect, I'm not so sure why not. After all, sex is the most primal of all driving forces as human beings. Sex, birth and death, aren't they the things we all share a personal link with? It makes sense that in exploring those things we'd uncover some fairly cutting truths about ourselves.

On a random note, the picture was so cleverly painted that at times my mind's eye couldn't decide between real-life characters and manga.

One of the shortest stories I've read in a while (I'm mostly reading Game of Thrones at the moment, for comparison), but one that's got me thinking more than most. After all, it's not size that counts. 

Loved every minute of it.

Writing Jouissance

Earlier this year I was reading a story collection and one story in particular really stood out. I loved the writer's style, so looked her up. Turns out she's both an erotica writer and a lecturer on the subject. That means she not only knows how to talk dirty, but can teach you to do it too, then rank you F to A* on effort.

Having read one of her novels and a couple of short stories, my appreciation of Remittance Girl's writing has simply grown. Swelled. Engorged.

Okay, stop it.

Most writers write sex at some point. In the case of the Bad Sex Awards, some don't always get it right. But erotica is a genre unto itself, with numerous subgenres. As with any approach, getting it right takes study and skill.

I just wanted to share RG's recent address at Eroticon 2015 (love their motto: Write Sex Right). It's best to download her slide presentation alongside the podcast, so you can follow.

RG Podcast

Slides

You can find more resources on her website.

I love people who challenge me to think. This talk is particularly stimulating - ahem. RG has a special gift for sexual inventiveness in literature, and for subtle subversion. I hadn't realised just how powerful erotica can be at pushing you out of your comfort zone, shattering the fourth wall and coaxing out your dirty little freak. I wouldn't question in life that sex is the fastest route to the core, so I don't know why it should surprise me in literary form. Raw, emotional, messy - all the best books are.

It's more important to stop and question yourself even if you don't find an answer. - Remittance Girl (twitter)

PG = Pickled Gherkins

Oh, what a redundant bloody idea.

Came across a rather odd review site called The Books Debut today. Your first warning should be its awkward use of grammar. If you're going to set up a literary site, you just don't struggle with the singular/plural possessive like that. Even if it's not a possessive, why on earth pick such a troublesome title?

That forgiven, it looks like a fairly nice site. A good idea. Somewhere for authors to get those much-needed first reviews. Fairly easy submission process to follow, too. Until you read the form.

The conversation went something like this:

FADE IN

ME: What on earth is a 'book rating'?

THEM: rating means is it r, pg erotica, g etc like a movie rating

[Your second warning should be that no website administrator in the literary world should manage to miss the shift key that many times in a row...]

ME: Do books have a rating? Is this common in the US, perhaps? I don't know what to rate a work of historical fiction.

THEM: No, it is not exactly common for books to be rated that way except for erotica and sometimes for foul language. Make sure you always download the sample if possible and check it out thoroughly before you purchase (even my books).

FADE OUT

At this point I just gave up. If it's not common, why use it on your submission form?

PG, 15, 18... on a book?

Really? 

You're serious about that? 

What exactly is a PG book rating anyway? Does it mean your parents have to stand behind you, reading over your shoulder? 

"Yes dear, it's pronounced dee-cap-ee-tate..." 

I've noticed this on Smashwords, too. When you publish a book online with them, they ask whether it has any 'adult content'. 

I think it's fairly safe to assume that any book without Spot the Dog on the cover is likely to have some adult content. But then, what is 'adult content'? Kissing? Getting angry? Hitting someone? Shooting a gun? Smoking a cigarette? Drinking a pint? Getting drunk? Having consensual sex after the debutant ball? With people watching? Somebody dying? Committing suicide? Somebody choking to death on a fish bone? Somebody being stabbed, but not dying?

And at what age can you read about each of those things?

Books are not films!

That's the point.

Somebody recently asked me what age range my books were suitable for. I found myself explaining that:

Unlike films, books have an age rating of 'ability to read' and 'ability to imagine'. It varies wildly.

Books are about exploring emotions, thoughts and feelings. They're the safest medium through which to do so, because they are governed by our own ability to imagine. A film can make you see things you can't imagine, crashing through your psyche's protective shields like a visual sledgehammer. Books don't do that. We construct their images in accordance with our own understanding. 

To curtail that, and to tell a young person that they cannot read something like Oedipus because it includes incest, is a type of extreme ignorance usually only suggested by people who themselves do not read, and who have little love - or understanding - of literature.

The chances of a child who is not old enough to handle The Shining either attempting to read it, or showing any interest in doing so, is negligible. A young person is old enough to read a book when they have the technical capability (the skill) and the interest (the will). You cannot force a work of horror, or even the greatest piece of classical literature, on a mind that cannot read it and doesn't want to.

Should a person be both able and willing, then that is an incredible thing in modern times. The fact that they would rather do that than play X-box or football is to be rejoiced over!

It's like somebody went: look, there's something that isn't regulated! Quick, we'd better regulate it - the one thing the world doesn't have enough of is pointless red tape! 

Is anybody really about to turn around and say, "Sorry, The Pillars of the Earth - rape - you have to be eighteen to read that."

If they are, at least it's more likely to make their kids want to go and read it.

Absolute unenforceable, illogical, and ridiculous gump.

Deconstructing Sex

Foreskin - I mean forewarning - adult content in this post.

Rude words and whatnot.

No sniggering.

Some days, being a writer is just hilarious.

We exist to confound the NSA with the sheer breadth of interests we Google: bomb making, drug slang, baby names, fourteenth century fashion - it's all in a day's work.

We deconstruct everything in detail. Writing is painting with words. Getting the right word is like choosing the right shade of green, or working out where the light should fall. It alters the overall picture.

I'm no stranger to writing sex scenes. I think every book I've written has contained at least one. I've run the gamut from boot scenes (characters kiss, skip to pulling on boots), right through to tastefully poetic and abusively graphic. 

There is a fucking art to fucking, as we are constantly reminded each year when some unfortunate, usually famous, author gets bent over and spanked at The Bad Sex Awards. You really have to try to hit the right tone for each work.

I'm extremely lucky in counting Remittance Girl among my literary-minded friends. She not only writes erotica, but lectures on how to write it well.

Which is why I found myself sending the following DM the other day. Just to illustrate how authors think:

Help. I need expert advice. I'm writing a steamy scene in a sort of suspense/ghost story. It's not particularly erotic, though there's been one sex scene, and there'll probably be another after this one.

I want to write: As his fingers found the soft folds of flesh hiding her cunt.

But people have a really visceral reaction to 'cunt'. I wonder if it'd put readers off. I've been quite tasteful up to now. Still, I tried replacing it with cleft and pussy, and I don't much like either as a substitute. Can't use clit because I'm about to use that in the next sentence.

 What would you recommend?

Thus began a really useful back and forth in which RG helped me to go back to the character and consider what he'd be comfortable using. I also revisited the previous scene in which he got his kegs off and realised I hadn't actually directly referred to anyone's genitals. Pretty impressive, considering.

I've now rewritten that sentence entirely.

Cunt isn't a word I've always been particularly comfortable with in the past. You usually hear it used far more often in anger than eroticism. 

I got a lot more comfortable with it after my friend Harri gave me a copy of Cunt: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio. Now I quite like it.

To an author, words are words. Every single one of them is there to be used at some point in your life. There are no good words or bad words, just good combinations of words versus bad ones.

Whilst considering other options, I headed to Thesaurus.com, which resulted in an interesting suggestion. Not sure who agrees with me here?

I mean, I suppose if you're using it as a vernacular insult, 'You fucking merkin' might be synonymous, at a stretch, but really it's a noun for a totally different thing, no?

What I said about Word holds up, though. Just look at this:

Well, that's useful.

Still, maybe we should all be grateful...

One thing's for damn straight - I'm never going to be an erotica writer. I just couldn't stop laughing long enough.

Tea for Two

As old friends pass, new arrive.

Had a scrumptious day yesterday with fellow author Remittance Girl. She's usually based in Vietnam, but was in London visiting family. We met up for afternoon tea at the Stafford in St.  James's.

It was a double first for me.

The first first was meeting RG, whose work I have admired ever since stumbling upon a short story in Red Phone Box last March. She's an erotica writer. You can find her online, on Twitter, and listen to her talk at Eroticon last month. We've been corresponding online for a while - I love her style, and she loved Rosy Hours, so lots to talk about.

My second first was afternoon tea. I'd never done it before, and certainly not somewhere so posh. I felt a little intimidated, but RG put me at ease. It was lovely to talk to another ex-pat who understands how difficult it can be to adjust - especially to London. 

After that sumptuous spread and a lake of Earl Grey and English Breakfast, we took a leisurely stroll through Mayfair and sat in a park until it got dark and they threw us out. Wandered to the tube along Oxford Street. An afternoon over far too soon. 

Thrilled to have finally met her, and sure we shall meet again at some point, somewhere on the globe. 

Kingdom of the Feared

Right, let the mass book review begin. I know I keep apologising for being so distracted by YouTube lately, but I am still reading (and writing, but more about that later). Some of these might be speed reviews as I run to catch up.

The first book I finished in 2023 was the final instalment of the Kingdom of the Wicked series. Unusually for me, I'd put it on pre-order. I don't read a lot of series, but this one caught my attention for the feisty, unapologetically sexual female protagonist in the first book (Kingdom of the Wicked). I also really enjoyed the second instalment, Kingdom of the Cursed. But this one didn't quite do it for me.

Everything that was so original in the first book seemed to become a bit stale by the third. I'm maybe being completely unjust here, but it felt like a case of the publisher pushing the author for a conclusion the author wasn't entirely ready to tell yet. The sex seemed a bit repetitive and the plot seemed like an afterthought. 

You could join them up there, experience the power of two sins at once. Those body adornments they wear enhance every sensation. Imagine how those pearls would feel as they slid over sensitive flesh, hitting areas of pleasure inside you never dreamed of.

If you do want to explore that concept more, check out Gaijin. 

You can only keep readers in a state of arousal for so long, and if it's not quite doing it for them, what else you got? 

I know it's all very subjective, and I am looking at this through mature adult eyes. I'm probably not the key audience here. But the main reason I didn't love it was more to do with the character development. Again, a very personal thing, but I get a bit put out by books that turn demons into just misunderstood good guys. Beauty and the Beast syndrome - every guy can be tamed if you just take the time to get to know them properly. To me, it feels a little boring. If that's the case, why make them demons in the first place? Why not just choose any troubled misfit? I feel like, if you're going to go for the seven deadly sins, you really need to play that large. Give a genuine sense of danger and derangement. Sure, it's a YA book, but if it's mature enough to handle erotica, it can handle the rest? 

I don't know. I didn't actively dislike it, but I didn't feel it lived up to the other two books. I found some of the repeated phrases like oh, goddess above, a bit irritating by the end, just because they came up so often. The ending was quite good, I see how everything fits together, just about, and it seems to be the set-up for more books to come, but I think I've had my fill for now. I think it's very difficult on authors to write ongoing series. Often the first couple of books are crammed with fantastic ideas and a huge amount of energy, but the pressure, as with film directors and musicians, to keep pumping out the same standard as quickly as possible is too much to ask. You can either be patient and have a really outstanding book, or you can pressure a writer to keep delivering and get a lot of the same stuff over and over because they haven't had time to imagine something fresh. I'm not saying that's exactly what happened here, it just felt a bit like it might have. 

From this day forward, a curse will sweep through this land. You will forget all but your hate. Love, kindness, every good thing in your world will cease. One day that will change. When you know true happiness, I vow to take whatever you love, too.

I think it's also difficult when you include characters like Circe, who have been so totally owned by other authors, notably Madeline Miller. Once you've met her through Miller's eyes, no other representation quite fits. She was so completely and potently brought to life. 

Anyway, I still like the overall concept. The whole Kingdom of... titles and cover art are delicious. Just needed a little more plot than pleasure.

Wolfish

I know I've been a bit quiet since finishing Creeper's mid-August.

I've taken some time out to attend to real world affairs, and to write a couple of shorts for magazines, just to give my imagination a bit of room to breathe. Novels are long, they take up a large part of your life until you finish one, then you feel a little unsure what to do with yourself.

I have started the first edit on Creeper's. I'm at about 125 of 300-and-something. I'd like to say I'm feeling confident, but I'm not. I think I could be looking at my third crash and burn.

I love writing contemporary prose whilst I'm doing it. It's a lot of fun for me, but when I read back through I just keep thinking should have written something historical. 

Recently heard that Children of Lir won't be out until 2017 as the publisher wants to put together a marketing budget for it. I'm happy to wait. After what they did for Rosy Hours, I know I'm in very good hands and that, when the time comes, they will make it beautiful.

Secretly, it also takes a tiny bit of pressure off knowing that I'm one book ahead. Gives me plenty of time to write another couple of fails and have them rejected without a sweat breaking out.

But I'm in a bit of a flump at the moment.

I recently wrote what I consider to be one of the best short stories of my life, but even magazine submissions take an age to respond. I'm obeying the rules and not putting it out to multiple publications, partly because, if they do accept it, that's rent for a month.

But the muse is hit and miss. Tried to replicate that sparkle yesterday and it fizzled and died.

The pound to the dollar is not fun either. Most paying magazines are based in the US, and when you convert the fee into pounds, it's a lot less return on your time.

Anyway, enough of all this.

Every slump has to end sometime.

I'm continuing to plough on with the Creeper's edit. I know I need to rewrite the ending and deal with a couple of plot chasms. Not looking forward to sending it out to beta readers. Thinking I might just skip that step and throw it through submissions with the full expectation of GNDN. 

I'd like to keep writing shorts for a bit, I'm not ready to fully commit to another novel, though I know what it will be when I do.

Instead, I'm having a go at writing a novella, working title Wolfish. 

It's at 5,000 at the moment. 40,000 would be useful, as that's the cut-off for many of the novella competitions I've seen, and I don't know anyone who has actually sold a novella. Who knows, though. 40-60,000 is the likelihood. Can't sell it, can't enter it... sounds like my level of planning.

Continuing in the same vein as Rosy Hours and Children of Lir, the theme is not original, but the way I tell it should hopefully be sumptuous. 

I'm twisting Red Riding Hood into something adult. 

Shexshual.

Not erotica.

Dark.

Enthralling.

Little bit of a mystery angle to it.

I'm confident this one will be worth reading.

If nothing else, it'll be a chance to post lots of pictures of wolves. What other reason do I need?

I've been staring at the MS for a couple of weeks, contemplating how to begin. This evening I drank beer and hashed out 1,000 words which came very easily. Writing is sometimes easier than you think it's going to be, because you think so much you think it's hard. 

Also, this morning I had a truly lovely message over Twitter. It's been a long time since launch day, so these sort of things are much rarer nowadays. It's amazing what a few words of encouragement can do for a flailing author. When you know you're capable of something good, you strive to do it again.

He Drinks Poison

Shout out to Laine Cunningham for her latest book, He Drinks Poison. I absolutely love the cover.

​Priya Conlin-Kumar, conceived when her mother was gang-raped in India, became an FBI agent in order to stop violent criminals. While tracking a serial killer, she experiences visions from Hindu epic The Ramayana. As each new vision creeps further into the physical world, it seems that an ancient demon has reappeared. 

When Priya falls in love with the county sheriff, they dabble in bondage. Each night opens her to pleasures she has always desired... and to the trust she has always craved. Soon their coupling mirrors that of Shiva and Shakti, the god and goddess who left marks on each other's flesh and whose passion shook the earth.  

Their loving activities stand in stark contrast to the sexualized violence they face during the investigation. Priya eventually takes on Prince Ram's righteous anger and accesses the power of the dark goddess Kali. The justice she metes out satisfies both the laws of man and spiritual laws.

An interesting mix of crime thriller, erotica and the spiritual. Reminded me a bit of Colin Cotterill who also brings the spirit world into play with his Dr. Siri series set in Laos.

Atmospheric. Having grown up in Leicester with a strong Hindu community and the largest Diwali celebration outside India, it certainly struck a chord.

Highly poetic in parts, but you'll need a strong stomach for this one. I made the mistake of reading it over lunch... jam jars - eeww eeww eeeewww.

And believe me, it takes a lot for me to say eeww.

As an aside, I was interviewed by Laine a while back, and you can find her review of Rosy Hours here.

PayPal Censorship

Image courtesy of IsaacMao

Some seriously disturbing news emerging at the moment:

Paypal has decided to abuse its considerable position by imposing their moral beliefs on the self-publishing industry, forcing Smashwords, Bookstrand and other sites to remove certain categories of erotica from their websites.

From the  Stop PayPal Censorship petition.

In an update, Smashwords recently explained:

I had another call with PayPal this morning, and as a result of that conversation I extended the deadline...by which authors, publishers and agents should voluntarily remove content that no longer fits the PayPal guidelines.

The mortifying part is the amount of hostility authors seem to be levelling at Smashwords for what they claim to be 'giving in to' PayPal's unreasonable demands (which I'll get to in just a minute...) 

As Smashwords explain:

It's not so simple to just unplug PayPal. Their policy originates with the banks and credit card companies that power them, and if we want to continue accepting credit cards either with PayPal or any other payment provider, we need to understand from where this originates.

To illustrate, this isn't the first time PayPal has displayed a paternalistically patronising attitude towards what its users can and can't spend their money on. In December 2010: PayPal cuts Wikileaks access for donations

You might understand this had they been threatened by governments over something like 'supporting terrorist organisations' or other extremely loose and ambiguous legislation ending in unthinkable consequences, disappearances, and jail terms. Whether you agree with such legislation or not, you could at least sympathise with PayPal for being a victim of someone else's gagging order.

But, no. They very clearly state the reason as being: "a violation of the PayPal Acceptable Use Policy."

A policy which they, themselves, have sat down, discussed, and come up with.

That's the bit people need to shout about. Global economy, free market, competition - there isn't any in this case. It's PayPal or nawt. If we want to change the system, we need to campaign for a new one - a more ethical alternative in relation to freedom of expression.

If there is an alternative to PayPal, I'm now interested in finding it. My business relies on PayPal. So, like Smashwords, I currently need them. What I will do alongside that is continue to blog and shout, tweet, and Facebook my disagreement. After all, whilst you're still a customer you might get heard. Once you walk away, where's the incentive for them to listen? 

Unless everybody walks away. If we're prepared to do it en masse, I'm in. 

So, what are PayPal censoring and how?

Well, from what I've managed to garner (open to corrections here) - they're preventing users from purchasing certain types of literature from indie publishers, and they're threatening to cut services to businesses who fail to comply.

We're talking hardcore censorship here. Tantamount to financial blackmail.

The worst part is that PayPal don't even seem to be able to define exactly what it is that they wish to ban. Again, Smashword explain:

My dialogue is continuing with them as I seek to achieve a less onerous, more sensible result. Today, they hinted at a willingness to consider a more relaxed definition of prohibited content as..."books for which rape, bestiality and incest are the major theme.  If rape, bestiality and incest are incidental plot points, then that content might be allowable."  This is a significant clarification in my ongoing attempt to delineate the gray areas and push back the onerous, unfair and restrictive definitions as they now stand.  It's an opening, but not the final word from PayPal.

Might be allowable? I'm sorry, but really - f--k off PayPal. Oh look, I just censored myself.

Under that definition, my latest novel might be banned on two counts, as an 'incidental plot point.' My collection of short stories is a definite no-no.

What'll this mean?

Well, if I self-published a book on Smashwords that got pulled because it contravened PayPal's moral judgement, what would I do?

What any sensible author would do. I'd go and self-publish it on Amazon. No skin off my nose, but a huge punch in the gut for indie publishers like Smashwords, who end up being caught between a rock and a hard place: the ire of their authors for not making a stand, and the financial intimidation of a morally corrupt transaction company.

PayPal's name becomes muck, Smashwords go bankrupt, and the books are happily published elsewhere.

What on earth does this achieve, exactly?

[P.S.: PayPal Alternatives for Accepting Online Payments]

World Book Day 2015

I love World Book Day, mostly because it isn't actually World Book Day. You get to choose - 5th March or 23rd April? It's also not entirely sure of its name. World Book Day, AKA World Book and Copyright Day, and International Day of the Book.

Either way - hurray for #WorldBookDay

In celebration, I thought I'd mention a few of my favourite reads and paperback romps. 

Not to mention, you can enter at Ghostwoods to win a paperback or audiobook copy of Those Rosy Hours at Mazandaran before next Wednesday 29th.

The book  I have just finished reading:

The Borgias by Christopher Hibbert

(review)

I'm quite partial to a spot of non-fiction, especially when it reads like fiction. A truly compelling insight into one of my favourite TV series. 

Books I'm currently Reading:

He Drinks Poison by Laine Cunningham

Laine gave Rosy Hours an absolutely stonking review, and interviewed me a while back. I adore the cover on her latest novel and couldn't resist picking it up. Don't eat and read. Jam jars - eeew!

Steel & Snow by George R. R. Martin

Losing the battle to catch up with Game of Thrones before season five finishes airing. Reviewed books one and two. Really enjoying myself. Pure escapism.

Author crush of the year:

Remittance Girl

(review of Gaijin)

Smitten by Remittance after finding this erotica writer in Red Phone Box. Beautifully nuanced, intriguing individual. Great Twitter feed, too: @remittancegirl 

Top of my TBR pile:

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

One of my all-time favourite movies. I've been meaning to read the book for a long time. Finally got around to downloading it. 

Poetry:

Brand New Ancients by Kate Tempest

(review)

My lovely Aunty Heron sent me this. Blew me away. I read it and watched the live excerpts. Really excellent epic poem for the modern era.

Reading lists:

Books on Writing

As a self-taught writer, I thought I'd gain myself an edumercation: Elements of Style, On Writing and 101 Ways to Write Badly Well. Worth diving into for anyone interested in the art of writing.

Books of Days Gone Bye

A selection of my favourite childhood reads, however the children's book of fantasticalness goes to Shark in the Dark by Peter Bently. Kept a bubbly three-year-old highly entertained for an afternoon.

Charity Shop List (AKA The Blue List)

A set of highly diverse books I picked up on a whim in a charity shop in Scotland. By coincidence, they are mostly blue.

Remembering Rwanda

I currently live in Rwanda, and we've just passed the 21st memorial of the 1994 genocide. This is my recommended reading on the matter for anyone interested in human rights and world affairs.

And, finally, a shout out to my publishers: Ghostwoods Books, Green Sunset Books and Netherworld Books.

More juicy reads here.