Horrorful Harlot

This lady.

Strangely we were linked through a mutual friend years ago, yet never knew it until I was looking for a French translator and she stepped forward. Proving, once again, that it is a very small world.

I like her blog. Lot of fanfic, some confessions and a few short stories. She's just set it up, so worth following along. You can also find her on Twitter: 

@HorrorfulHarlot 

Speak Easy

I love reading. I do a lot of it. But every now and then I find a wall of text off-putting. 

I've recently switched to using Word's Speak function for Wiki, news articles, blogs and e-mails. 

Here's how to enable it (plus tips on other read-out-loud programs).

Speak seems to have a finite reading time (couple of minutes, or around 700 words), perhaps Narrator is a better option, I'll have to try it out.

For me, though, it's perfect. 

It doesn't take the place of an actor for audiobooks, as the voice is heavily synthesised and gets a lot wrong, both in terms of pronunciation and inflection, but it's a helpful tool nonetheless. 

I'm a notorious multitasker. Often, I see an article I'd like to read, but, considering its length, think of other things I should probably get done. Speak has been especially useful with the heavy weight of research and fact-checking I've had to do for my current novel. I can follow all the Wiki links I want, and set them reading whilst I reply to emails and brows social media. It's not much different to having the radio playing, and I only need half an ear on it to pick up the important points. If I hear something of interest, I can pop back and check the text any time.

The other thing I find it really useful for is clearing my in-box. That sinking feeling you get when faced with twenty e-mails you're supposed to respond to... Speak is like having a PA. If I've opened the blank document in US English, I get an American PA, in UK English, I get a British PA. 

It's also useful when things get heated, such as customer complaint back-and-forths. You dread having to give up your attention to them, so having things read takes the ugh factor out of it. Plus, the voice on the screen always sounds a lot calmer than the voice in my head, thus my responses tend to be calmer too. 

The hotkeys you might want are: highlight the text from the web you want read, ctrl+c for copy, ctrl+v for paste (into the word doc), ctrl+a for select all, then hit play.

Clean Reader

'Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance.' - Laurie Halse Anderson

'I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance' - Jon Stewart

If you're an author and you've never heard of Clean Reader:

Time to get up to speed.

Two articles I highly recommend:

Clean Reader’s Profound Illiteracy: The Consumption of the Text
- Remittance Girl

(I love this lady, also look at her Cunts)

Fuck You, Clean Reader: Authorial Consent Matters
- Chuck Wendig

By the end of those you're likely to have a very clear (or clean) idea of what's going on here. The argument that 'overlaying' text is not 'altering' text is total bollox and, as RG points out, absolutely contravenes the moral rights of the author.

It's basically an e-reading app for the brain-dead that looks through a book, picks any expletives, and overlays them with a block of colour and, sometimes, an alternative descriptive.

What I don't understand is why they'd set up a bookstore (which is the only material you can load onto Clean Reader) with books full of material that needs censoring? Why not just set up a bookstore with books void of sweary words?

Juvenile, dim-witted and repugnant. As Wendig points out - you don't like the way I write? I don't want you reading my feckin' (that's vernacular, not censored) books. Hands off. Go put them down your pants or something.

As also noticed, the bookstore seems to be an outlet for various translations of the Bible. I wonder if they've seen fit to censor The Word of God (tm)? Perhaps he'd like to assert his moral rights as an author?

I really can't say anything more constructively or more succinctly than RG and Wendig have, so I won't prattle on. But it's worth keeping an eye on this sort of shit, lest it become more prevalent.

There was a moment's fun on Twitter with #cleanreadermisses Inventive ways around censorship through erotic euphemism. RG postulating whether it might be possible to write an erotica anthology, or the smuttiest story ever, without getting a single word censored by Clean Reader. Undoubtedly, if her article's example of Ulysses was anything to go by.

The only thing I'd add, after musing through several articles on censorship recently, is to caution against the oft repeated phrase: 'censorship is becoming a greater threat,' or that 'censorship is on the increase'. Mayhap. But was there ever a glory day?

I mean, didn't Ibsen have to send Nora home to her husband? Didn't the Lord Chamberlain's Office have to scour through script after script? Didn't D. H. Lawrence have to self-publish? Didn't people lose their heads for satire? Was there ever such a golden age of freedom of expression, free from political, military or religious censorship?

Not saying it's right. Just saying.

Long way still to go.

I've posted it recently, but I'll post it again...

Without Words

Me (far left), Ann & Kim
Without Words

Ahem. I've just been featured on Reading University's Alumni Profiles.

In honour of which, here's a couple of embarrassing photos.

That's me performing street theatre on Reading High Street circa 2001/2. It was part of a Deaf Theatre undergrad course so we used a mixture of sign language and physical theatre techniques - hence Without Words.

Me 'n' Graeme
Any excuse for top hat and tails.

Third from back left.
On stage at Shakespeare's Globe Theatre

Fourth back left as the Mad Hatter
Uni Theme Night

Gosh, blast from the past. I briefly moved into a house in Colchester after graduating with Tom, the dude next to me in the shades. On the front row, far left is Ann and far right is Kim from Without Words.

That's quite enough cringeworthy rememberising.

In now news, there's also an interview with me via Laine Cunningham who reviewed Rosy Hours the other day. Talking a little about the book, and about how I got my publisher.

Kindle Cover Disasters

From fabulous art to true surrealism. Check out Kindle Cover Disasters. I especially like the comment beneath Old Ladies Who Love Porn:

Rob Gonslaves

Love this art by Rob Gonsalves. We all need a change of perspective from time to time.

My Hero