Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Reading the Landscape

Oooh, this blew my mind the other day. I caught up with my friend Ineke at a local café and interrupted her whilst she was reading. She was face-first into a tiny little book about the size of my hand. Turns out it's actually a full-length novel condensed down into small print and inked onto the page horizontally.

She assures me there are loads of novels printed like this, but it's the first time I'd ever seen one. I think it's the compromise for people who don't like Kindle. You can certainly fit a lot more of them in your bag. 

Is there a word for this print format?

Sunday, 16 September 2018

What's Going on with the 'BBC'?

I wrote a while back about how many spelling mistakes and typos were cropping up on the BBC website, fuelled by its need for 24-hour rolling news, which editors and proofers don't seem able to keep pace with. Naturally, all articles have one or two mistakes, this blog's got plenty of them, but they were persistent and often in really noticeable places like bylines and even headlines.  

Whilst that continues to be noticeable, there's another, much stranger, trend occurring. I've only really noticed it over the past few months, but the whole of the BBC website seems to be littered with single quotation marks as though half the headlines contain words that are not to be believed. It gives current affairs even more of a sense of unreality than usual.

Why 'The 'Scotch-Irish' influence' and not simply 'The Scotch-Irish influence'? What possible benefit does adding quotation marks to headlines have other than making them sound sardonic? Almost every second headline seems to have a set of inverted commas. You can almost picture the author pausing at her keyboard to crook her fingers in glee. 

If the Pussy Riot man was 'poisoned', was he poisoned, or suspected of being poisoned? Wouldn't it just be easier to express doubt using words, like normal journalists? 

An absolutely baffling trend, and one that adds no clarity whatsoever for the reader.

Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Violet Evergarden

I'm enthralled by this.

A long-ago ex and I used to be fanatically devoted to Ghibli because of the beauty of their animation: Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke and Tales from Earthsea. My early twenties were awash with anime. This just brought it all back, and then some. 

Occasionally a little saccharin, but on the whole it hits the emotional nerve dead on. Fantastically observed, exquisitely drawn, and all about the power of writing letters.

I've made up my mind. I wish to follow in the footsteps of Violet Evergarden and become an Auto Memories Doll.

I will travel to wherever you are.

Tuesday, 11 September 2018

Stuart: A Life Backwards

Whilst in the UK last July, I was talking books with Aunty Patsy. We were talking about what we were reading, and she brought up a book called Stuart: A Life Backwards. She spoke of it in such high terms that I promptly bought a copy for Kindle and started reading it on the flight home. 

I got through 30% on that flight, then readjustments to daily life took over, and I've just finished it now. 

It's an extremely important book:

‘Stuart does not like the manuscript. He’s after a bestseller, “like what Tom Clancy writes”. “But you are not an assassin trying to frazzle the president with anthrax bombs,” I point out. You are an ex-homeless, ex-junkie psychopath, I do not add.’

This is the story of a remarkable friendship between a reclusive writer (‘a middle-class scum ponce, if you want to be honest about it, Alexander’), and Stuart Shorter, a homeless, knife-wielding thief. Told backwards – Stuart’s idea – it starts with a deeply troubled thirty-two-year-old and ends with a ‘happy-go-lucky little boy’ of twelve. This brilliant biography, winner of the Guardian First Book Award, presents a humbling portrait of homeless life, and is as extraordinary and unexpected as the man it describes.

It isn't too often that you find yourself reading biographies about people who are not A-list celebrities or important historical figures. It's a book about a man you might find in a doorway in any British city.

There are numerous types of homeless person:
There are those who were doing all right beforehand, but have suffered a temporary setback because their wife has run off with another man (or, surprisingly often, another woman). Their business may have collapsed. Their daughter has been killed in a car crash. Or both. Self-confidence is their main problem and, if the professionals can get hold of them in the first few months, they'll be back at work or at least in settled, long-term accommodation within a year or two.

Right at the bottom of this abnormal heap are the people such as Stuart, the 'chaotic' homeless. The chaotic ('kai-yo-ic', as Stuart calls them, drawing out the syllables around his tongue like chewing gum) are beyond repair. When Stuart was first discovered, Kaspar Hauser-like, crouched on the lowest subterranean floor of a multi-storey car park, the regular homeless wanted nothing to do with him. They called him 'Knife Man Dan' and 'that mad bastard on Level D'.

What unites the chaotic is the confusion of their days. Cause and effect are not connected in the usual way. Beyond their own governance, let alone within grasps of ours, they are constantly on the brink of raring up or breaking down. Charity staff fuss especially hard over these people because they are the worst face of homelessness and, when not the most hateful, the most pitiable extremity of street life. - Full Guardian Article

Harrowing and honest. It gives an insight into 'the System' (all of them, from the police and care homes through to social workers and media), into life on the streets and the origins of how a person loses themselves. It offers no easy answers, but definitely raises a lot of questions - and a little more compassion.

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

Will Davis Showreel

This is the lovely Will Davis, not only a breathtaking aerialist but also a fantastic author. I highly recommend his book The Trapeze Artist. You can also book him for shows via his website

Saturday, 1 September 2018

Widows and Orphans: Adventures in Self-publishing

Well, I've learnt a new publishing term.

I'm having a little fiddle with self-publishing. A long time ago (or a long, long time ago, if we're telling a story in the style of Don McLean), my publisher took up a novella I'd written, asked for two more stories to go with it, then promptly dropped the project. 

The original novella was shortlisted for the Leapfrog Press Award last year, but didn't hit a chord with the handful of other publishers I sent it to. I did receive some lovely compliments, but no one was accepting adult fiction below 70,000. 

So, I've decided to use the stories as an experiment in self-publishing. I've always been interested in how that works, but never been brave enough to sit down and give it a go. I've opted for Amazon's CreateSpace, as it seemed a lot more user-friendly than Lightning Source, even though I do have an account with them.

I sat down and had a good read through the PDF submission specifications.

At first, I felt a little queasy, though it's nowhere near as gratuitous as Sashwords's 117-page beast of a style guide - and that's just for e-books.

Eventually, I turned to YouTube and found a really helpful set of tutorials by Killer Book Marketing which takes you through the whole process. The four that were particularly helpful were:

I had a bit of a meltdown over getting headers and footers in the right place with continuous page breaks, which Word doesn't handle very well, but got there in the end.

Then, when I uploaded it to CreateSpace and checked out the preview, I discovered the issue of 'widows and orphans'. There's a nice little article called Improving the Bottom Line which explains it quite well. A widow is where the first line of a new paragraph appears by itself at the bottom of a page. An orphan is where the last line of a paragraph appears by itself at the top of a page (I think). Word automatically readjusts the layout of a page to avoid this, moving the widow to the next page to form a whole paragraph. This means you end up with opposite pages in your book having a different number of lines, usually resulting in the page that had the widow now having a blank line at the bottom, so the bottom lines of your page don't line up in the same way the top lines do.

You can knock off the widow and orphan control on Word, so that it doesn't do this, but most typesetters seem to agree that allowing widows to appear is a cardinal publishing sin.

Mostly, I was wondering which is the greater sin - allowing widows to appear, or leaving blank spaces where a line of text should be?

I went to my bookshelf and had a rummage through. I discovered that most self-published and POD books had the blank space, even when the overall quality of publication was very high. But I did find a professionally published book by Anchor (part of Random House at that time) which had them. 

Ideal Alignment
Missing Widow (Right)
With Widow (right)

That last one is from a copy of The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, which is a pretty famous book. So, I decided I'd follow their lead and knock off widow control in Word. Apparently there are ways around it if you play with character spacing, but that seems like a huge amount of effort throughout a 345-page book. I think I can live with the odd floating line. Definitely looks better than a missing line.

Having said that, I had never noticed the blank lines in books I had previously read until I became aware of this issue through trying to publish my own book. Now I see them everywhere. To the average reader, I doubt it makes a lot of difference.

The manuscript has now been adjusted and re-uploaded to CreateSpace. Just waiting on the cover to come through. I'll talk about that another time. Then I'm going to order a hard copy and make any final adjustment.

Wednesday, 29 August 2018

BBC World Service Interview

Did a little interview with BBC World Service about me and Dés's piano building project. Starts around 48 mins in. Unfortunately, due to my internet connection at the moment, I can't actually listen to it, so hope it's okay!

If it is no longer available on the BBC, you can listen to it here.

Thursday, 23 August 2018

Novel Remedy

Which stories do you turn to when you're feeling unwell? Helen Zaltzman takes a look at the healing power of books.

Monday, 23 July 2018

Saturday, 21 July 2018

Sunflower Story

A gentleman in our village recently died. He was very well liked and there was a large memorial service for him. He was also a poet, and one of his poems was on display on top of the font. I hope - wherever he is now - he won't mind me sharing.


    Sunflowers, like people, stand up and
    look over fences,
    drop their faces against the wind,
    drive artists insane.

    Big yellow suns,
    the compact core shimmering,
    the fire-tongued petals.
    No surprise if sunflowers walked,
    a natural movement for their fluid stems,
    the gesturing leaves.

    But these bodies of fire
    burn themselves out,
    like a spent man bent and withered,
    pathetic victims of their own fierce glory,
    the ages of man,
    the sunflower story.

    - Nigel Townsend

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Hollowell Steam Rally 2018

So much fun at Hollowell Steam Rally last weekend. Currently in the UK doing all things British, from cream teas to real ale and pork scratchings. Wonderful summer weather, too. Bit of a write-up here.

Saturday, 30 June 2018

ImagineWe Interview

Lovely interview with my friend Nicky from ImagineWe. A fantastic publishing house based in Kigali, Rwanda. I did a bit of editing with them on This is Life so it's great to hear it's done so well. Video from this article: This young author is out to change Rwanda’s reading, writing culture. You can find ImagineWe on their website, on Facebook and Twitter.

Friday, 29 June 2018


Just when I thought the list was over, this fell through the door today.

So happy to announce that I received my copy of Banstands by Paul Rabbitts yesterday. This is another book I helped to back - name on the honours page. I stumbled across the project back in November whilst doing some research for a novel I was writing.

This book was a collaboration between crowdfunding and Historic England. It is sumptuously put together in full colour with examples of bandstands from across the British Isles and further afield. A strangely compelling subject. There's even a painstakingly compiled list of known bandstands, and bandstands known to have disappeared.

In 1833, the Select Committee for Public Walks was introduced so that `the provision of parks would lead to a better use of Sundays and the replacement of the debasing pleasures.' Music was seen as an important moral influence and `musical cultivation ... the safest and surest method of popular culture', and it was the eventual introduction of the bandstand which became a significant aspect of the reforming potential of public parks. However, the move from the bull baiting of `Merrie England' to the ordered recreation provided by bandstands has never been fully comprehended. Likewise, the extent of changes in leisure and public entertainment and the impact of music at seaside resorts often revolved around the use of seaside bandstands, with the subsequent growth of coastal resorts. Music in public spaces, and the history and heritage of the bandstand has largely been ignored. Yet in their heyday, there were over 1,500 bandstands in the country, in public parks, on piers and seaside promenades attracting the likes of crowds of over 10,000 in the Arboretum in Lincoln, to regular weekday and weekend concerts in most of London's parks up until the beginning of the Second World War. Little is really known about them, from their evolution as `orchestras' in the early Pleasure Gardens, the music played within them, to their intricate and ornate ironwork or art deco designs and the impact of the great foundries, their worldwide influence, to the great decline post Second World War and subsequent revival in the late 1990s. This book tells the story of these pavilions made for music, and their history, decline and revival.

It also came with a lovely collection of postcards.

One of those projects you're happy to have helped bring into existence. 

Wednesday, 27 June 2018

Deeds Not Words

Continuing the list of books which arrived in my absence, here's Deeds Not Words.

This is a book that I backed through Kickstarter, so I received a signed copy with my name included in a list on the back cover, along with everyone else who donated.

King Edward is on the throne of a British Empire collapsing under its own weight, and those who hold power are determined it will not be shared.

It is a dangerous time for a cooper's daughter and her mother to be displaying a queer strength beyond the usual limitations of mankind.

Emily Downings is young, Deaf and angry, with questions that need answers. To get them, she must deal with those who would deny her choices and chances.

Hearing people.

I originally donated because I liked the idea of a Deaf superhero graphic novel, and I must admit, it's nicely drawn and suitably Victorian in style. It centres on a Deaf girl, Emily, with super-human strength, who enlists an organisation of people with different abilities to help figure out who attacked her mother and set fire to their shop.

It's apparently part one of two, though I have difficulty imagining how they're going to wrap up the story in a single volume. It feels very much like the story is just getting started. 

The only thing that puts me off a bit is the premise 'Emily is Deaf and angry - and it's all hearing people's fault.' The book was also funded by the Arts Council England, and I just wonder whether they'd have been so eager had it read: "Emily is female and angry - to get answers she must deal with those who would deny her choices and chances. Men," or "black and angry - white people." 

I mean, yeah, I get it - but it's not exactly an inclusive message that would entice hearing people to read further, which I assume you'd want them to do in order to change their minds about stuff?

There can sometimes be an overpowering sense of anger towards hearing people in the west, that doesn't always exist in Deaf communities in other countries and cultures. The idea that hearing people deliberately set out to deny Deaf people choices and chances is one way to look at it. The other is that, on the whole, nowadays, people usually mean well and try to improve the world around them with the limited resources available from cash-strapped local authorities.

Things aren't perfect and more can always be done, but it's often ignorance rather than a deliberate attempt to sabotage one group of people. Of course, the blurb could just be telling you that's the premise for this particular story - a world in which hearing people are deliberately out to trample the rights of Deaf people, but it's a statement that could use a little more context.

Meh, anyway. It's a nicely-drawn short read with potential. Feels more like the start of a longer series than the first part of a two-parter, but if they need to Kickstart each volume, it may be unlikely to expand.

Tuesday, 26 June 2018

Faces of Africa

The final book that was waiting for me on my return was Faces of Africa

I first saw this on a table in a hotel called BirdNest on a weekend away to Lake Bunyonyi in Uganda. It was just sitting on the table, so I picked it up and had a leaf through. I was so taken by the portraits that I ordered a copy as soon as I got back to Kigali. A really beautiful and historical documentation of culture across the African continent. Images taken over thirty years by photographers Carol Beckwith and Angela Fisher.

Monday, 25 June 2018

Horrible Dilemma

I've mentioned before how much I love the work of artist Ray Caesar. Even spotted him on a book cover in Kigali. Back in 2016, I discovered a collection of his work on eBay. It was a stretch of the budget, but I couldn't resist. It's only now, in 2018, that I've returned to the UK and found it waiting for me in a very, very large pile of mail. 

The dilemma?

It's shrink-wrapped, in mint condition.

Yet, awaiting me inside is a whole melted chocolate lava lake of eye sex. 

But, it's shrink-wrapped, in mint condition.

But, art to make the heart weep.

But, shrink-wrapped. Mint.

A friend suggested buying another copy so that I could keep one and open the other. I went to look for another copy and found a single one - for $395!

Let's just say, that's gone up in value - a lot.

For a second, I smiled. Then I groaned. Had there been a hundred selling for a tenner, I would have sunk my teeth into that plastic wrapper and torn it off, but knowing it's increased substantially in value makes the decision even harder.

Maybe re-wrapping it in crepe paper with a finger-print smiley face would add to the value, too?

I mean, what would you do?


I think I will probably open it. I just need time to come to terms with this decision.

For now, I'll sit and stare at the cover - and imagine.


Saturday, 23 June 2018

A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo

I've been quiet for a while with lots going on. I'm taking a holiday in the UK at the moment to visit family. 

Whilst I've been away, a few books have arrived for me, so I thought I'd sort through the pile, starting with Marlon Bundo which I bought back in March after the John Oliver programme.

Meet Marlon Bundo, a lonely bunny who lives at the Naval Observatory with his Grampa, the Vice President of the United States. But on this Very Special Day, Marlon's life is about to change forever...

It is everything it promised, and more. The beautiful story of two gay rabbits who are denied the right to marry by the Stink Bug. It contains an excellent moral message for children on the importance of voting and engaging in the democratic process. If you don't like the system (or the Stink Bug) - change it.

A happy, feel-good bedtime read.

Friday, 22 June 2018


Thanks to the digital age, we have the ability to change language overnight. 

The Channel4 comedy programme The Last Leg has proposed renaming the offense of upskirting as choping.

For those who don't know:

Upskirting is a term used to describe the act of taking a photograph up someone's skirt without their permission. The sexually invasive act was set to be made a criminal offence in parliament this week, following a campaign launched by upskirting victim Gina Martin. - Indipendent

Only, when it went before parliament, a single Tory MP called Christopher Chope blocked it. You can read about what happened here.

Hence the drive to rename upskirting, choping. As in: "Look at that dirty little choper. If I catch him choping round here again, I'll chope him where the sun don't shine."

As the programme points out, to enter the English language a word needs to be in common use. So, get using it as often as you can, and join the hashtag #choping on Twitter.

Monday, 21 May 2018


It's been a while since my last update. I've been off doing fun and wonderful things with friends. Headed down to Nyanza Mwami Palace, the King's Palace in Rwanda. Had an absolutely incredible time wandering the tea fields up in Gisenyi. But also want to mention the flooding going on at the moment. Over 200 people have lost their lives and almost 10,000 homes have been destroyed.  We're coming to the end of the wet season, but it's left lasting damage this year.

Wednesday, 2 May 2018


Shit, sorry. Long time, no update.

I disappeared into the early 90s. 

My friend Harris just screwed up my productivity levels by introducing me to Gog. Only people of a certain age will understand the following list, but if they do, they'll go download the free Gog Galaxy gaming client right now, kiss their families goodbye and spend the next six months in darkened isolation with a pizza delivery brochure. Ready for it? Here it is:

  • Sam and Max
  • Day of the Tentacle
  • Monkey Island
  • 7th Guest
  • King's Quest
  • Zak McKracken
  • Leisure Suit Larry

They're all on there, and most of them have received a modern-day makeover, boosting the graphics from pixilated to pretty attractive. 

But I haven't had time to revisit those gems yet. Harris introduced me to Gabriel Knight and The Longest Journey. For some reason, these passed me by the first time. Really loving them - especially Gabriel Knight. Mostly because it's outrageously outdated in terms of dialogue towards women and portrayals of Africa, which makes it adorable in its own special way. 

Longest Journey is good too, but it doesn't have the scene fade which cuts out all that walking about. You actually do have to walk absolutely everywhere. So much walking... and talking. I forgot how much talking was involved in adventure games. Mostly on the same subjects. 

Still, completely addictive.

Monday, 9 April 2018

Making Harbour

After setting sail the other week, I thought I'd best give an update.

I did what I said I would that week, through gritted-teeth on the Still Life days. It was quite an unsettling experience. I've discovered that I truly enjoy ghostwriting. It's sort of addictive in a way. I've developed this pattern, as I described before, of taking one day to transcribe notes, the next day to write up the chapter. It's led to a steady writing rhythm in which I can easily knock out 3,800-4,500 words in a sitting. And it's good work. The whole memoir is coming together nicely, and it's just a bit painful to think that some of my most enjoyable work won't have my name on it. But that was the deal I knew I signed up for, and I'm really grateful that it's got me writing so fluidly.

Sadly, the same cannot be said for my own work. It's like losing those chapters poisoned the chalice. I managed to write my way back up to 70k, and replace the main bulk of what I lost, but I did so grudgingly. I hoped that once I was back to where I left off, I'd be raring to write the next instalment, but I haven't looked at it since. This sudden detachment surprises me, as I was so into the story just before I lost it.

Once this book's finished for my client, I'll get back to my own stuff. It's just pulled me under in a way I wasn't expecting. I'm deriving a lot of satisfaction from telling somebody else's life story. In parts, it's stranger than fiction. I can't work out if it's specifically because the person is such an interesting subject, or because I'm just enjoying how easy it is to write a book that's already sort of been written... I'd like to do more ghostwriting to find out. It feels a bit more like colouring in than writing a book. The transcripts provide the outline, then you choose which words to make it sparkle. I'm a total pantser with fiction, so that structure is never really there. Perhaps I should try recording my stories and then writing them up in this way. It's nice never having to feel like you're facing down a blank page, because the next part of the story is always waiting for you.

We're at about 27,500 words, 83 pages now. I'm contracted for 100 pages - it's a short book - but I reckon it'll probably come in around the 120 mark. 

I send over my work every three or four chapters, just to show I'm actually working, and to release payment. I know my client is itching to start editing but I've refused to accept any feedback before it's finished, unless I've made any glaring inaccuracies or they don't like the tone. Things that could affect what I go on to write next.

Think it might be finished in the next couple of weeks if I keep going at the same pace.

Sunday, 8 April 2018

The Silk Roads

Finished reading The Silk Roads by Peter Frankopan in a bar in Kigali the other day, while waiting for the rain to stop. It's an absolutely excellent book looking at the history of the world from an eastern perspective. Right from the dawn of civilisation to the events that led to 9/11 and the world as we know it today. Extremely readable.

One of my favourite nuggets came around the 700s, when Rome worshipped the vine and beer fuelled armies:

India eschewed alcohol too. They did not do so for religious reasons, but because of their entirely reasonable view that if drunk, 'how can someone run a kingdom properly?'

There were so many interesting titbits of information, such as the Chinese being looked down on as unhygienic because they didn't wash after using the toilet, but wiped their bums with paper. Relatable as the bidet (or 'bum gun') didn't take off in England, either. Also, the blue and white pattern synonymous with Chinese pottery actually originated from Persia. Also in the 700s, 'the best quinces were from Jerusalem, and the finest pastries from Egypt; Syrian figs were bursting with taste, while the umari plums of Shiraz were to die for.' And this, which is fascinating as an example of just how much traditions change, and how tradition should never be viewed as absolute:

As the number of followers [of Islam] grew, so did their aspirations and ambitions. Crucial in this was the designation of a clear religious centre. The faithful had previously been told to face Jerusalem when they prayed. In 628, however, following further revelations, it was apparently announced that this instruction had been a test and should now be amended: the direction to face when praying was nowhere else but Mecca.

Not only that, but the Ka'ba, the old focal point of the polytheistic, pagan religion in Arabia, was identified as the cornerstone for prayer and pilgrimage within the city.

The influence of language also drew me in. The Viking Rus' gave their name to Russia. Apparently they were 'tall like palm trees, but always armed and dangerous, each carrying an axe, a sword and a knife.' Other linguistic quirks:

The Rus' were ruthless when it came to enslaving local populations... So many were captured that the very name of those taken captive - Slavs - became used for all those who had their freedom taken away: slaves.

... So widespread was slavery in the Mediterranean and the Arabic world that even today regular greetings reference human trafficking. All over Italy, when they meet, people say to each other, 'schiavo', from a Venetian dialect. 'Ciao', as it is more commonly spelt, does not mean 'hello'; it means 'I am your slave'.

And I like this snippet of text from a report by a man who had pleased the Ottoman Sultan in 1599 and was offered 'tow wyfes, either tow of his Concubines or els tow virgins of the beste I could Chuse.' Even the sanctity of spelling and grammar isn't immutable (see also Shakespeare).

There's been quite a bit of bloodshed down the line, along with pestilence. Apparently, Europe lost a third of its population to plague (around 25 million people), which was a tragedy, but, as the book explains, also led to a massive improvement in pay and the quality of life for those remaining, creating huge social mobility opportunities as there were nowhere near enough servants to go round anymore, so jobs were plentiful and pay fairer.

There was also an interesting description of what I assume was the Peacock Throne of the Iranian Shah: 'The throne is entirely encrusted with diamonds, sapphires and emeralds, and there are jewelled birds (not peacocks) standing on the sides,' which begins Those Rosy Hours at Mazandaran. An important description, as the throne was subsequently lost.

I must admit, I prefer ancient history to modern. When you can travel the globe in hours rather than weeks, and drop a single bomb to wipe out thousands, it rather takes the wonder out of things. But I certainly feel better educated. I knew that Britain, the US and Russia played political brinkmanship throughout the East, but I really didn't understand the extent of it. Seriously eye-opening stuff and provides a much better grounding to explain current political pratwittery. 

Trailers that Colin Powell described as mobile biological weapons facilities 'hidden in large groves of palm trees and... moved every one to four weeks to avoid detection' turned out to be weather balloons - just as the Iraqis had said they were.

I'll finish up with a very poignant paragraph, one that really chimed reading here in Central East Africa:

As in Iraq in the 1990s, it is clear that the effect [of sanctions] is strongest and most pronounced on the poor, the weak and the disenfranchised  - making their bad lot even worse. Restricting Iranian oil exports of course has an impact on the standards of living not only of Iranian citizens but also of people living on the other side of the world. In a global energy market, the price per unit of gas, electricity and fuel affects farmers in Minnesota, taxi drivers in Madrid, girls studying in sub-Saharan Africa and coffee growers in Vietnam. We are all directly affected by the power politics going on thousands of miles away. It is easy to forget that, in the developing world, cents can make the difference between life and death; the enforcement of embargoes can mean silent suffocation for those whose voices cannot be heard - mothers in the slums of Mumbai, basket weavers in the suburbs of Mombasa or women trying to oppose illegal mining activities in South America. And all so that Iran is forced to disavow a nuclear programme built on US technology sold to a despotic, intolerant and corrupt regime in the 1970s.

Saturday, 7 April 2018


Today begins the 24th mourning period after the Rwandan genocide of 1994. You can learn more on Twitter via #Kwibuka24, and here are some books I recommend.

Tuesday, 3 April 2018

So, You Want to be an Editor?

At the beginning of this year, I vowed to do less stuff I don't enjoy and only take jobs I'm interested in. This was to help me free up time to pursue my new-found hobby of building pianos. I used to spend a lot of time pursuing contracts in international development, and sometimes getting them, but I fell out with the NGO world. I think it was inevitable for a writer. I like communication. I like inventing concepts and trying to get those concepts into other people's heads as directly and relatably as possible.

Conversely, I kinda feel the world of development goes out of its way to invent language that keeps people from clearly understanding it: key performance indicators this, sustainability cycles that, SWOT, PEST and gap analyses the other. All these buzzwords to make quite straightforward questions (is the project working? Does it need more money? Have you got everything you need?) that little bit harder to grasp for grassroots, second-language English speakers.

Following that line of thought, I set up shop ghostwriting and editing. I've always enjoyed words, though not always grammar. I was a late developer, but, as with many converts, now practise it with more zeal than those who have always been good at it.

Editing wasn't something I ever thought I could make a living out of, though. Coming from the UK, there's a lot of things like editing (and piano building) where the market seems sewn up. Everyone's a writer, everyone's an editor - no one needs you.

Then, a couple of years back, I landed a gig editing national curriculum textbooks in Kigali. The deadlines were tight, the pay wasn't great, but it was fun being part of a team and it was more money than I was making doing (ironically) fundraising training. I was actually being paid to edit full-time.

Jobs followed after that. I started editing for a couple of burgeoning publishing houses, an international development agency, a major global charity and an online e-learning platform. Mostly it's small pieces, billed monthly, but it starts to add up.

It's now my main source of income, so I thought I'd explain a bit about it. There are several different types of editor, but I mainly copy edit. That means I'm caught up on grammar, how things flow and whether the facts check out. I edit children's stories, YA (for schools and the general market), adult fiction and non-fiction (textbooks, reports, essays and memoirs).

What do you need to be an editor?

Academically, it depends where you are and who you're editing for. I have a friend who trained as a professional editor in the US, and others who came up teaching English for the British Council. I hold an MA in Language & Communication Research, but my thesis was on forensic linguistics, not English grammar. Editing, like fundraising and social media management, is one of those careers where your track record (who you've worked for, on what, and how successfully) speaks louder than paper qualifications. You're either good at it, or this happens.

Editors come from all walks of life, but I think they share a few traits in common:

  • A fanatical obsession with the English language
  • An eagle eye for detail
  • A willingness to be pedantic at the risk of pissing people off
  • An awareness of the trickery of language (especially invisible typos), and a willingness to do battle with it
  • Happy to sit on their arse for hours on end making a frowny face at the screen
  • Curiosity about a wide range of subjects

Editing really isn't for everyone. You might love the English language, but find hours behind a desk tiresome. You might love the trickery of language, but be incapable of training your eyes to see through it. You might be excellent at picking up every misplaced comma or apostrophe, but feel bad about marking it up because you don't want to run the risk of upsetting anyone.

You really do need a mixture of desk endurance, proficiency and self-confidence to do this professionally. Google is absolutely your best friend. There's no faster way to find the correct spelling of something than to type it wrongly into Google. Especially useful when undertaking technical or academic work, where (and I kid you not) you might come across 'washing dishes' referred to as a 'reproductive task' - and that's all right. Just wash your hands afterwards.

How do you charge?

This was the number one question on my mind, and therefore I suspect it's on yours.

Each editor has their own way of doing things, but I'll explain what works for me:

  • Ask for the entire piece in .doc format
  • Change the whole thing to Times New Roman (TNR) 12pt, double spaced
  • Count the pages
  • Check the level of English (how much work it's likely to take)
  • Charge per page on a sliding scale of work needed

I have a lot of friends who do it by word count, but I don't like that. I mean - how much do you charge per word? Are we talking in pence, fractions of a pence? The maths gets awkward.

Changing to TNR 12pt double spaced, or a similar font, overcomes the issue of volume. You can't charge per page without giving the font specification, otherwise you're charging the same for a page of 10pt as you are for a page of 14pt. A difference of around 140 words.

How much you charge per page then depends on how bad the English is. A page of really good English might take ten minutes to proofread. A page of horrendous mistakes might take thirty minutes or more to edit. Once you've finished editing, your clean copy (discussed below) needs checking through to make sure you haven't missed anything, which also takes time. You can either include this cost in your page pricing, or as a separate fee added onto the quote, though you might have to explain to the client what this means.

You need to work out how many hours you have in a day, and how much you need to make per hour to pay rent and eat food. Then be firm about your page rate. People might walk away saying 'It's too expensive,' but editors rarely have one job on. Time you devote to underpaid work is time you're not devoting to fairly paid work, and the number of hours in a day doesn't change. 

One of my clients currently pays $8 per page as standard for their company. $80 for ten pages, usually high-quality English, an easy day's work. For smaller clients, I tend to charge around £3-4 per page, depending how bad. I also tend to round down for long-term clients and bulk manuscripts (over fifty pages or so). It's nice to have a few different things on the go as it varies your day.

When deciding what to charge, it's important not just to read the first page. Jump to a few random pages and check the standard is consistent. Sometimes the first few pages have already been edited by someone, and halfway through the English takes a nosedive. Be sure you know what you're getting yourself into. 

How do you edit?

One of my top tips for copy editing is not to read the manuscript before you start. Clients sometimes ask me, 'What did you think of the characters?' I can't tell them. I wasn't lying before when I said that language plays tricks. As this proves, your brain doesn't read every single letter in a word, it guesses by shape and length of word. The more familiar you are with a piece of work, the faster your brain fills in the gaps and the more errors you miss. That's why it's practically impossible to edit your own work effectively and another reason why you do need different types of editors. 

An editor working on character and plot development needs to read the whole story before setting to work. That's likely to make them a bad choice for copy editing the book. After I'm finished copy editing, I usually suggest a client gets the final draft proofed by someone else.

My process for editing goes as follows:

  • All jobs are submitted as a .doc so that I can track markups using Word's Review Function. I save this under EDIT [name of original file]. Example: EDIT project end term report.
  • Once all the edits are made, I clean up the markups by removing all formatting markups to leave just my comments and text deletions/insertions (the red bits). To do this, go to Review, Show Markup drop-down menu, deselect Comments and Insertions/Deletions, then Accept all changes shown. Go back and reselect Comments and Insertions/Deletions. This makes sure the important margin notes don't get lost amidst lines of font changes and italics.
  • After that, save it as a second file: CLEAN COPY [name of original file] (CLEAN COPY project end term report), accept all of the changes and delete all of the comments.
  • Finally, go through the clean copy using Word's Speak Function. This reads the document aloud to you in short chunks. It helps you catch any typos you might not have caught with your eyes - tiny things like my/by or starred/stared. Be sure to make any changes to the clean copy on the edited copy, too.

The edit shows the client all of the changes and suggestions you've made, in case they don't agree and want to change something. Some clients also like to read the notes to improve their own English. The clean copy is ready for use or submission.

If you're working on a novel or a lengthy piece for professional publication, it's also good to suggest a hard copy edit. This is where a single copy of the work is sent by the printer before commencing the print run. No matter how thorough you've been in Word, you'll always catch something in a hard copy edit, but not all publishers have the time or money. Even printing it out with a home printer can help.

Which jobs do you take?

I'm being very selective at the moment, because the whole point of editing was to escape work I wasn't enjoying. For that reason, I don't say yes to everything I'm offered. My criteria is usually:

1. Is it easy?
2. If it isn't easy, is it something I'm interested in?
3. If it isn't easy and it isn't enjoyable, does it pay well?

What people find easy varies wildly. I find academic writing easy. I have an academic background and the language doesn't intimidate me. For other people, that might be a nightmare. I don't enjoy technical construction manuals. I've no earthly concept of how part A slots into part B, and zero desire to learn. Usually, though: the shorter it is, the easier it is.

If it's long, it's got to be something I actually find interesting. Either something educational or fiction that is engaging. Fifty pages of something you're not enjoying might as well be four hundred.

Which comes down to another important decision-making factor: is it financially worth it.

As I mentioned above, there are only so many hours in the day. Resist the temptation to lower your prices. The work will take the same amount of time, you'll just get paid less for it. Don't do that. And especially don't do it because you think 'Oh, but this client might bring me more work.' Better to accept a well paid one-off job than a repeat customer who underpays.

Once you've got a couple of clients on your CV, that's enough. As one client replied (after initially questioning my fee): 'Super. You're worth the money.' And we are, good editors. Stick to your guns, and make sure that you have more than one project lined up.

So, to sum up your decision making:

  • Is it easy?
  • Is it interesting?
  • Is the deadline fair?
  • Does it pay enough?

Where do you find work?

I have a massive advantage at the moment. I live in a country where English is a second language. There's a boom in local business, a lot of INGOs, and most of them are starting to wake up to the fact that good English is important.

I've picked up clients both for editing and consultancy through cold calling. Just dropping a line saying 'hello, I do this if you ever need me'. That works better in countries where skills are in short supply than it does in countries that are oversupplied.

So, moving to an SLE country is a good start. Failing that, target SLE publishers, organisations, companies and educational institutes. It takes a few minutes to do a sample edit of some dodgy web content or a poorly-written report and e-mail it to them saying 'look what I can do'. 

Some won't take you on unless you have a bank account in their country, because the cost of international transfers is oppressively high and some countries don't have PayPal. Others want you to do hard copy edits, which you also need to be in-country for because posting things can take ages. If you are contemplating approaching SLE clients, TEFL experience helps, or experience of working in SLE environments. There's a lot of peculiarities that can go with different forms of English across the globe, and jumping straight in can be daunting.

A lot of work comes through friends of friends and word of mouth. Since the textbook gig, I have a couple of editing friends and we stay in touch and pass work between ourselves. If I don't have time to edit something, I'll pass it on, and they'll do the same for me. Once you've done a few successful jobs, more start to follow.

For me, local expat and community forums are useful. I've seen a couple of people posting for ghostwriters and English editors. I've either replied personally or been recommended by friends. Again, most people are looking to find someone local as, unlike the west, meeting face-to-face is still important in a lot of countries. People here often want to sit down and tell me their ideas before hiring me, whereas in the west, where outsourcing has become an online art form, people don't really care what your name is so long as you get the job done on time.

I steer clear of online outsourcing sites like Upwork, mostly because USD doesn't translate well into GBP for me, and I find the commission they charge a bit steep. It's financially better to deal directly with clients. Plus, having a company name or an NGO on your CV looks more convincing than Joe Bloggs from OnlineOutsourcing. The amount of hours spent chasing contracts on those sites is time you could be editing something better paid.

Can you make a living out of editing?

At the moment, I'm not entirely sure. If I took every job I was currently offered, yes. Because I'm being picky, no. But combined with the ghostwriting I also do, yes. 

I have three clients I currently bill monthly. They send me short pieces of work throughout the month, or fill a Dropbox folder, and I work my way through it and add up the total at the end. I have a friend who edits on retainer for a couple of large companies, and that provides a regular, guaranteed monthly income that covers his bills. A retainer simply means you get paid a lump sum by a company to edit whatever they send you. If you're going down the retainer route, make sure to put a maximum amount of pages per month, or 'within reasonable limits' into your contract, otherwise you could find yourself inundated. He says it does fluctuate. Some months he gets a lot to do, other months very little. If you're billing page by page, you have the option to say no to work, but you might lose the client.

As with any freelancing job, you're at the mercy of the market. Some days no one wants anything editing, some days they want 100 pages by yesterday. I was making good money when I was editing textbooks, but that was short-term work so the money had to last. The more clients you have, the greater the chances you'll make enough money each month, but also the greater the risk you'll get too much to do. It's a balancing act and you need to find your rhythm.

As editing isn't the only thing I want to do with my time, I'm happy not making a full-time living out of it. If I did want to turn it into a full-time profession, I think the work is out there, but it would probably mean taking more of the stuff I don't enjoy. 

At the moment, I'm finding the mixture of editing and ghostwriting pleasantly varied. It's satisfying intellectually and I feel like I'm contributing to interesting projects. However, as a writer, it leaves  little time to pursue my own work. 

This is my take on things at the moment. I hope it's been useful if you're thinking about becoming an editor.

If you have any questions I haven't answered, please drop a line in the comments.

It would also be great to hear from you if you're an editor with a different approach.